Tonight at bedtime Gable was crying..." Mommy are you going to die?" I assured him that I was healthy and doing just fine. Gable's smile returned when I assured him that I would grow very old like many in our family before me. Raury piped in with a desperate tone in his voice, tears in his eyes and said "Mommy, if you go to heaven I will stop being happy FOREVER." While it feels so good to know how much I am needed, a mom's heart aches at the thought that her boys worry so about such things. Innocence lost...breaks my heart!
Okay, so all child tears and frets aside...
Crap, do they know something I don't know, and how do I respond to that question without having the fear of God in my voice. This could seriously cause a person to worry. 2 out of 3 kids talking about your impending death...I can't worry too much, Right... RIGHT?
This whole parenting special needs kids is in a word...Scary! I am so petrified to answer questions wrong, have the wrong timing or not put enough energy into the right things and emphasis the wrong stuff. At least here I can vent or lament and cry and not be worried that the wrong person will hear me. This is just the first entry of the rest of our crazy, fun over busy life!
Aelyese
No comments:
Post a Comment